I'm going to keep this post short and sweet as I felt as though I needed to let out a short rant. Yet again I have been feeling pretty low today, although I've been trying to rest since I had such a busy weekend it's not so easy as it leaves me alone with my thoughts. I think this has been something that's been building up inside me and today it finally came to the surface and boiled over.
As I have said before, the doctor had diagnosed my with a urine infection 2 days before I went for my scan and I was sent away with antibiotics and a sample bottle, which I did. Today my mum received a phone call from my doctors (I'm not living at home but am still registered to the doctors there) where the receptionist asked if I was able to give them another sample to make sure the infection had cleared up. They had no knowledge about what had happened in the mean time so my mum told them just so they could put it onto my records. Half an hour later my actual doctor phoned up asking for me, once again my mum told her that I'm not living there at the moment and told her what had happened. My doctor went on to say several times how she was so sorry about what had happened and how these things happen. She also said how sometimes these things are just not ment to be and that when the time comes then it will happen.
My mum called me to tell me that she had given the doctor my mobile number as she said she would like to talk to me to make sure I was ok and then told me the conversation she had had. I appreciate the doctor calling, checking up on how I am and trying to give me any form of comfort and this may sound completely selfish. But sorry isn't going to make everything go away or make everything better. I already know that these things happen and that 1 in 4 women go through this, and the last thing that I want to hear is that 'maybe it wasn't supposed to happen right now'. These really aren't the right things that I want to hear, and maybe some day they wont affect me as they have done today, but people keep on telling me they're sorry for what's happened and it makes me think.. How can they be sorry, they had no part in it, they didn't make the decision. It doesn't make you feel better at all no matter what context you put it into.
Sorry is just a word.
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